Welcome to justthoughtsnstuff

I started posting to jtns on 20 February 2010 with just one word, 'Mosaic'. This seemed an appropriate introduction to a blog that would juxtapose fragments of memoir and life-writing. Since 1996, I'd been coming to terms with the consequences of emotional and economic abuse that had begun in childhood, and which, amongst other things, had sought to stifle self-expression. While I'd explored some aspects of my life through fiction and, to a lesser extent, journalism, it was only in 2010 that I felt confident enough to write openly about myself. I believed this was an important part of the healing process. Yet within weeks, the final scenes of my family's fifty-year nightmare started to play themselves out and the purpose of the blog became one of survival through writing. Although some posts are about my family's suffering - most explicitly, Life-Writing Talk, with Reference to Trust: A family story - the majority are about happier subjects (including, Bampton in rural west Oxfordshire, where I live, Oxford, where I work, the seasons and the countryside, walking and cycling) and I hope that these, together with their accompanying photos, are enjoyable and positive. Note: In February 2020, on jtns' tenth birthday, I stopped posting to this blog. It is now a contained work of life-writing about ten years of my life. Frank, 21 February 2020.

New blog: morethoughtsnstuff.com.

Sunday, 11 January 2015

high winds, picked-clean look, email storm, the life of rebecca jones by angharad price, welsh side of my heritage



















High winds on Friday night and Saturday morning (when the above photos were taken). No chance of cycling, so I walked into the valley. Everything has a picked-clean look - stripped bare before the start of the new growth.

The first week back at work was exciting but also demanding - lots of things kicking off and the first flurries of emails became a storm by the end of the week.

A highlight was the inaugural meeting of the library staff book group at Friday lunchtime, together with the reading for this. On Wednesday, I set Notes From an Exhibition aside (almost finished) and began reading The Life of Rebecca Jones by Angharad Price on Kindle on my way in on the bus.

This short novel, originally published in Welsh, had been chosen by our colleague who specialises in Celtic literature and culture. The book is a vivid evocation of the life of a farming family in mid-Wales during the twentieth century. It is the fictionalised account of the author's own family's experiences. A remarkable family, who have farmed the land in a remote valley since shortly after the Norman Conquest. A family that includes famous hymnists and poets in its lineage.

The family also had a strong tradition of learning and innovation and of contributing to life far beyond the valley, both in Wales and in England.

‎The novel is notable for its evocation of the valley and the set-pieces of the farming calendar, including scything hay and shearing sheep. Yet if the men of the household are busy with these activities, the narrator, Rebecca, makes it plain that the supporting roles of the women never stop. When the men come home to rest, the women continue to work, attending to their needs, even though they have already done a full day themselves. At one point Rebecca refers to 'This detestable tradition of woman as maidservant!'

Indeed, it is only after the death of her father when she is in early middle age that she feels freed to fulfil something of an independent life, moving up the valley from the main farmhouse to a primitive cottage with little furniture and no running water.

One of the strange aspects of the characterisation of Rebecca, however, is her relative invisibility until fairly late in the novel. Her personality doesn't really come across when she is describing the valley and family and farming life. When she decides she will move to her cottage she says '‎I, like the rest of the Tynybraich clan, was apt to be stubborn and obdurate, often moody or lost in thought.' I wished I'd seen these traits in her before this point. A criticism of the novel generally is that while it is beautifully constructed, in narrative terms, characters are mostly described rather than brought to full life before our eyes.

The novel is essentially a series of episodes - descriptions, set-pieces, theological speculations, occasional flashes of character in‎teractions. That these read like a seamless, lyrically-flowing narrative is down to the author's considerable skill at effecting the transitions between them.

I also liked the switches to the present tense at three key points. When Rebecca falls in love for the first and only time - with an Italian internee called Angelo‎, who comes to work on the farm. When a 1960s television documentary about the family is described as if it were playing in front of the reader's eyes. And during the final chapter, when the narrative reaches the 'present' and the reader follows the final days of Rebecca's life.

A poignant aspect of the novel is the blindness at birth of two of Rebecca's brothers, who are sent to a boarding school for the blind in England, one at the age of three. The family finds the money for this - the fees are presumably not cheap -‎ and the boys go on to further education, one studying theology at Oxford, to marry and to have successful careers.

Even more poignant is the death of siblings, including a little sister who dies within days of birth. Rebecca comments '‎Even the bluebells lasted longer.'

‎Although I thought there were some flaws in the book's approach to characterisation, it was a wonderfully rich experience to read the descriptions of rural life. These reminded me of countless trips to Wales over the years, including staying on Gwyn and Ethwyn P's farm in the hills above Brecon when I was a boy. There was no mains water, the water being piped to the house from a stream that flowed behind it.

My mum tried hard to put me in touch with the Welsh side of my heritage, something I've always valued.

Sunday, 4 January 2015

back to work tomorrow, wonderful christmas and new year, ready for 2015

















Back to work tomorrow.

Feeling refreshed - really needed the break. A wonderful Christmas and New Year - thanks J!! Ready for 2015 and its challenges.

Friday, 2 January 2015

thames near buscot, varied landscapes of the upper reaches, a few extra days off

















The Thames near Buscot. The river has such a different character as it meanders through each of the varied landscapes of the upper reaches.

Great to have a few extra days off after New Year before going back to work.

Thursday, 1 January 2015

clanfield via old man's bridge footpath, home in the dark, ice melting, t dozing in front of the fire... dancing by the pool in queensland... happy new year!!!!

















Written earlier:

Another terrific cross-country walk to Clanfield.

This time via the footpath that goes from Old Man's Bridge to the Clanfield-Radcott Bridge road, passing just to the south of Friar's Court. This one-mile stretch of the walk was new to us - great to still be finding untried byways in the valley after nearly fourteen years here.

Returned in the dark, after a four-hour round trip.

Ice beginning to melt but only slowly.

T now dozing in front of the fire.‎..

Quite a contrast, this New Year's Eve, to last year's - dancing by the pool in Queensland. Could take the CD player up to the frog pond, I suppose...

Midnight 2014/2015:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Monday, 29 December 2014

cotswolds, the fox great barrington, notes from an exhibition by patrick gale



































Glorious walk in the Cotswolds near Great Barrington, ending up at the Fox.

Continuing to love Notes from an Exhibition by Patrick Gale.

Sunday, 28 December 2014

late breakfast, long walk cross country to clanfield, steam engine, the clanfield tavern, sandford's piece, downton series five



















Lovely late breakfast of porridge followed by sausage and bacon from the local butcher.

Then a long walk via Weald, across farmland and along green lanes to Clanfield, where we saw a steam engine and had a drink in front of a roaring fire at the Clanfield Tavern. I had a pint of Ringwood Best - delicious and very refreshing for the walk back.

Returned to the village as dusk was falling. We crossed Sanford's Piece with the church silhouetted against a nightening sky on the far side.

Passed the spot where Lord Grantham and others discuss the possibility of building new houses in Downton Series Five, which we're watching this Christmas. Seeing this scene made sense of the bridge that had mysteriously appeared on Sandford's in the summer before vanishing.

Friday, 26 December 2014

boxing day walk, pint at the morris



















A lovely Boxing Day walk along the Thames from Buckland.

Quite a contrast to our walk in January 2013 - when the water meadows were well and truly flooded.

A quiet walk - the distant sound of a Boxing Day shoot but hardly anyone about between Buckland and Shifford Lock during the two hours we were out.

Later a pint at the Morris Clown - lovely to catch up with friends.

Thursday, 25 December 2014

happy christmas!!

Happy Christmas!!

--
Frank Egerton

Visit http://www.justthoughtsnstuff.com

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone

Saturday, 20 December 2014

winding down, the white peacock, dh lawrence, nottingham, the squire and his descendant

















Oxford is beginning to wind down.

The library will close at 5 pm on Tuesday and won't reopen till the New Year.

It's nice to have a little space in which to catch up with oneself and one's work. Moments in which one can see where one's got to and contemplate what to do next.

It's also been great to go to parties, to see old friends and have time to be with colleagues rather than us all dashing about.

On the bus into work, in between going through the last creative writing submissions of 2014, I'm reading The White Peacock by DH Lawrence. This is the third time in my life when I've read this novel. I love it. It's so beautiful - the evocations of the countryside and of the people and buildings within it. It's also fresh and vivid and full of life, with none of the somewhat deranged tub-thumping and one-pacedness of later Lawrence.

I first read the novel when I was at Cirencester Ag College. What it did then was to put into words all the freshness and beauty of the rural world that I knew was there but couldn't fully identify or describe. Then I re-read it when I was living on Osney Island in the 1990s and was writing my own first novel. This was also a time of numbness and distress, when the truth about the family and the trusts was coming out. Not a pleasant time but the misery was helped a lot by books like The White Peacock. Now I'm living in yet another age. One where former incompetences and cruelties have run their course and are receding into the past, and where hard work and trying to balance this with quieter moments are the major issues. It's fascinating to read the book for the third time and to see what I missed the first and second times round.

When I used to drive up to Nottingham in the late seventies and early eighties to see my girlfriend, Belinda, we used to go walking in the places where Lawrence's novels were set. One time we visited the little church above the stately home that features in The White Peacock and saw the ballustraded terracing that Lawrence mentions. The big house was by then a football academy. After a while we noticed a man standing in the graveyard. We got talking - I remember noticing his frayed cuffs and old-looking gold cufflinks as he began to tell us about the house and his ancestors. He was a descendant of the landowner on which Lawrence's squire was based. The man invited us to the family's current home, which though much smaller, was still pretty massive. An ancient wood-panelled place with Stubbs painting hanging on the walls and a blazing log fire. The squire was portrayed by Lawrence as a despot who had no time for the welfare of the people that lived on his estate. The man we met had some choice stories about Lawrence and why he wasn't a decent chap and was over-rated as a writer. I loved the fact that there we were with the battle between the family and the author still going on in front of our very eyes.