Welcome to justthoughtsnstuff

I started posting to jtns on 20 February 2010 with just one word, 'Mosaic'. This seemed an appropriate introduction to a blog that would juxtapose fragments of memoir and life-writing. Since 1996, I'd been coming to terms with the consequences of emotional and economic abuse that had begun in childhood, and which, amongst other things, had sought to stifle self-expression. While I'd explored some aspects of my life through fiction and, to a lesser extent, journalism, it was only in 2010 that I felt confident enough to write openly about myself. I believed this was an important part of the healing process. Yet within weeks, the final scenes of my family's fifty-year nightmare started to play themselves out and the purpose of the blog became one of survival through writing. Although some posts are about my family's suffering - most explicitly, Life-Writing Talk, with Reference to Trust: A family story - the majority are about happier subjects (including, Bampton in rural west Oxfordshire, where I live, Oxford, where I work, the seasons and the countryside, walking and cycling) and I hope that these, together with their accompanying photos, are enjoyable and positive. Note: In February 2020, on jtns' tenth birthday, I stopped posting to this blog. It is now a contained work of life-writing about ten years of my life. Frank, 21 February 2020.

New blog: morethoughtsnstuff.com.

Friday, 20 January 2012

dad















It has been a very sad week. My dad died on Tuesday.

I saw him a few days before. We were all there as a family once again and for me I found that love had hollowed out a space in which to breath and when it was pulled free it filled our world.

On the morning after he died, I saw that the fire we lit when we got back from the hospital was still glowing and I put a log on the embers and kept the fire going throughout the day.

I remember how we all loved sitting by the fire when I was boy.

When my dad judged I was old enough we went to the farmyard and he showed me how to split wood.
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6 comments:

  1. Rupert Neil Bumfrey21 January 2012 at 05:19

    Keep the memories alive.

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  2. Frank21 January 2012 at 07:03

    Thanks, Rupert. Much appreciated.

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  3. Hannah T21 January 2012 at 09:00

    All my love Frank. My great grandma died this week too and it does make you realise who and what are important in your life. Am sending a huge hug. x

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  4. Frank21 January 2012 at 09:20

    Thanks very much for sending love, Hannah, and for the huge hug. So sorry to hear about your great grandma. I'm sending a huge hug to you too. You're right about realising what's important. I see too little of friends, for a start. It would be good to meet up. x

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  5. Niels29 January 2012 at 22:33

    Frank, I am sorry to read this. If you ever feel like a get-together/chat after work, just let me know! Best thoughts, Niels

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  6. Frank30 January 2012 at 07:48

    Thanks very much, Niels. That's kind and is much appreciated. Yes, it would be good to meet up.

    ReplyDelete

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